UNDER A STAR CALLED SUN

under a star called sun

i wake up

The sun gently caresses my face

and for a second

i believe im back on earth

i make myself some coffee

and you’d laugh if i said

it never tastes as good as the

ones you get

from the cafes back home

i would turn back and go home

but

the trajectory of this ship is

unchanging

i check on the plants

in the greenhouse

i check for bugs

i check the moisture of the soil

i check the dust on the leaves

And when no one’s around

i hum to them

in a normal message

i’d be saying shit like

how’s it going

what’s new

so when are you finally gonna move to melbourne

im so excited to see you again

oh atlas

holds up the firmament

and endures

one day at a time

i remember when i first

heard the news

i woke up,

earlier than usual

and i get a message from our friend

and my phone freezes

and one could attribute this to

planned obsolescence

but maybe, maybe, maybe...

you know, there’s a room

on this ship

(i wont tell you how it works)

i can replay the moment

i last saw you

over and over and over and over

it was late morning on a 

perfectly ordinary august day

we were meeting up for brunch 

at a cafe close to mine

a line up of friends 

i only see occasionally

i think you ordered 

a fancy sandwich

or maybe just a salad

then we sat in the park and

talked for a while

you had to get going 

meeting another friend

you stepped on the 19 tram 

to north coburg and smiled

framed between 

the pneumatic doors

beautiful under 

the fluorescent light

you said see you next time

was it sunny or cloudy that day?

what did you order?

what did we talk about?

what did your voice sound like?

what was the expression on your 

face when we said goodbye?

the memory gets corrupted with 

each new iteration of it

like a wave washing over 

writings on sand

over and over

like a cassette tape played

over and over

like a jpeg saved over and over

you know what i’m talking about

you’d laugh about this 

comparison too

the deep fried meme of memory

i think it’s funny too

but one day the memory 

will be so distorted

that i won’t get to see you 

anymore 

i wish i had made

more of an effort to remember

i wish i had taken more photos

when a perfectly ordinary day

turns into

a perfectly extraordinary day

who do you blame for

misfiling a memory

in the file cabinets

of your brain?

The trajectory of this ship

is unchanging

and if nothing else

i must cherish the approximate

oh atlas

holds up our poisoned world

and endures

once more

(whispering)

and im writing this

and i know im a visual person

and it’s not like

you’ll write back

from the far edges

of outer space

but one day i’ll get there

and i’ll hug you

and i’ll say i missed you

and i’ll say i love you

until then

i check on the plants

in the greenhouse

i check for bugs

i check the moisture of the soil

i check the dust on the leaves

And when no one’s around

i hum to them

SEND MESSAGE?

>YES

NO

me too man

almost?! i gotta try harder

 😈

Yeah, the things we wish we'd said and done, and now the opportunity is gone forever, or at least until next life. It's a strange feeling I think is unique enough to have its own name, but I don't want it to have one.

refreshing does the trick with music i think? but most people dont have this problem so i really cant help you. i did upload the music here if you wanna listen to it: https://soundcloud.com/haraiva/elegy-for-a-cosmonaut